Father's Day talk given by Cindy

Good Morning brothers and sisters. I am Cindy Follmer. For those of you who were not here when my husband Jack and I introduced ourselves, we are newlyweds. I am very pleased to be able to speak to you this morning. When the bishopric asked us to talk I began to ponder the question, “What do I know about being a father?” Usually a person can call on their own experience to help them with a talk. Well I raised my children as a single mother. I left my father’s home at the age of 13, so I am a little lacking in the area of knowledge of Fatherhood and the gospel as far as personal experience is concerned. So I continued to pray and ponder until I came up with this idea.

Several years ago in my Avocado Ward the first counselor made an announcement that he was going to start a class called Marriage and Family Relations. I was a single woman at the time, but the class sounded interesting. I approached Brother Weber and asked him if I could attend the class. I told him I knew I was not married, but I had a desire to be some day. Brother Weber told me the class was available to anyone interested in attending. I have been impressed by the Spirit to use the material from the manual from that class. While looking over the material I was also impressed to look up a conference talk from 1977 . The chapter I used from the book “The Sacred Roles of Fathers and Mothers.” is from a talk given by President Ezra Taft Benson during October 1987 Conference called, “To the Fathers in Israel.” I have also taken material from another talk given by Elder L. Tom Perry of the Council of the Twelve, which he gave during the October conference of 1977 called “Father- Your Role, Your Responsibility.”
I would like to start out with some information found in the manual. President Ezra Taft Benson stated: “ Fathers, yours is an eternal calling from which you are never released. Callings in the Church, as important as they are, by their very nature are only for a period of time, and then an appropriate release takes place. But a father’s calling is eternal, and its importance transcends time. It is a calling for both time and eternity. President Benson went on to quote President Harold B. Lee who truly stated that “the most important of the Lord’s work that you [fathers] will ever do will be the work you do within the walls of your own home. Home teaching, bishopric’s work, and other Church duties are all important, but the most important work is within the walls of your home” (Strengthening the Home, pamphlet, 1973, p. 7). President Benson goes on to say, What, then, is a father’s specific responsibility within the sacred walls of his home? May I suggest two basic responsibilities of every father in Israel. First, you have a sacred responsibility to provide for the material needs of your family. The Lord clearly defined the roles of providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam, not Eve, was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow. The Apostle Paul counsels husbands and fathers, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Tim. 5:8).

Fathers, another vital aspect of providing for the material needs of your family is the provision you should be making for your family in case of an emergency. Family preparedness has been a long-established welfare principle. It is even more urgent today.
I ask you earnestly, have you provided for your family a year’s supply of food, clothing, and, where possible, fuel? The revelation to produce and store food may be as essential to our temporal welfare today as boarding the ark was to the people in the days of Noah.
Also, are you living within your income and saving a little? Are you honest with the Lord in the payment of your tithes? Living this divine law will bring both spiritual and material blessings. Yes, brethren, as fathers in Israel you have a great responsibility to provide for the material needs of your family and to have the necessary provisions in case of emergency.
Second, you have a sacred responsibility to provide spiritual leadership in your family. In a pamphlet published some years ago by the Council of the Twelve, we said the following: “Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home” (Father, Consider Your Ways, pamphlet, 1973, pp. 4–5). The Apostle Paul points out that “the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Eph. 5:23; italics added). That is the model we are to follow in our role of presiding in the home.

Mothers play an important role as the heart of the home, but this in no way lessens the equally important role fathers should play, as head of the home, in nurturing, training, and loving their children. As the patriarch in your home, you have a serious responsibility to assume leadership in working with your children. You must help create a home where the Spirit of the Lord can abide. Your place is to give direction to all family life. You should take an active part in establishing family rules and discipline. Your homes should be havens of peace and joy for your family. Surely no child should fear his own father—especially a priesthood father. A father’s duty is to make his home a place of happiness and joy. He cannot do this when there is bickering, quarreling, contention, or unrighteous behavior. The powerful effect of righteous fathers in setting an example, disciplining and training, nurturing and loving is vital to the spiritual welfare of his children. With love in my heart for the fathers in Israel, may I suggest ten specific ways that fathers can give spiritual leadership to their children:

1. Give father’s blessings to your children. Baptize and confirm your children. Ordain your sons to the priesthood. These will become spiritual highlights in the lives of your children.
2. Personally direct family prayers, daily scripture reading, and weekly family home evenings. Your personal involvement will show your children how important these activities really are.
3. Whenever possible, attend Church meetings together as a family. Family worship under your leadership is vital to your children’s spiritual welfare.
4. Go on daddy-daughter dates and father-and-sons’ outings with your children. As a family, go on campouts and picnics, to ball games and recitals, to school programs, and so forth. Having Dad there makes all the difference.
5. Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. These memories will never be forgotten by your children.
6. Have regular one-on-one visits with your children. Let them talk about what they would like to. Teach them gospel principles. Teach them true values. Tell them you love them. Personal time with your children tells them where Dad puts his priorities.
7. Teach your children to work, and show them the value of working toward a worthy goal. Establishing mission funds and education funds for your children shows them what Dad considers to be important.
8. Encourage good music and art and literature in your homes. Homes that have a spirit of refinement and beauty will bless the lives of your children forever.
9. As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and the eternal family unit.
10. Have your children see your joy and satisfaction in service to the Church. This can become contagious to them, so they, too, will want to serve in the Church and will love the kingdom.

I would like to relay a story given by Elder L. Tom Perry Of the Council of the Twelve at the 1977 October Conference in a talk called “Father- Your Role, Your Responsibility.” Elder Perry said, give your children the opportunity of having a joyful, happy childhood. The priesthood manual a few years ago quoted a story written in 1955 by Bryant S. Hinckley. It is as follows: “ ‘Three hundred twenty-six school children of a district near Indianapolis were asked to write anonymously just what each thought of his father. “ ‘The teacher hoped that the reading of the essays might attract the fathers to attend at least one meeting of the Parent-Teacher’s Association. “ ‘It did. “ ‘They came in $400 cars and $4,000 cars. Bank president, laborer, professional man, clerk, salesman, meter reader, farmer, utility magnate, merchant, baker, tailor, manufacturer, and contractor, every man with a definite estimate of himself in terms of money, skill, and righteousness. … “ ‘The president picked at random from another stack of papers. “I like my daddy,” she read from each. The reasons were many: He built my doll house, took me coasting, taught me to shoot, helps me with my schoolwork, takes me to the park, gave me a pig to fatten and sell. Scores of essays could be reduced to “I like my daddy. He plays with me.” ’ “Not one child mentioned his family house, car, neighborhood, food or clothing. “The fathers went into the meeting from many walks of life. They came out in two classes: companions to their children or strangers to their children. “No man is too rich or too poor to play with his children.” (The Savior the Priesthood and You, Melchizedek Priesthood Manual, 1973–74, p. 226.)

This story reminded me of the times I spent at home with my father. I remember the family camping trips and vacations. I also remember the games we played on the living room floor.

I would like to close with the words of President Ezra Taft Benson, “Oh, husbands and fathers in Israel, you can do so much for the salvation and exaltation of your families! Your responsibilities are so important. Remember your sacred calling as a father in Israel—your most important calling in time and eternity—a calling from which you will never be released. May you always provide for the material needs of your family and, with your eternal companion at your side, may you fulfill your sacred responsibility to provide the spiritual leadership in your home.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.