I’ve been asked for the details of my 18th birthday from several of you, so here they are, in their entirety. Buckle up, it’s intense.
Gather round, all ye cousins, and hear my awesome tale, of how I spent my 18th birthday, and…… I can’t think of anything that rhymes with tale except for jail and wail. Dang.
STORYTIME: Ok, so for my birthday, my parents decided it might be fun to go see a performance of Clue at a little dinner theater about an hour away called the "Lazy Susan."
It sounded quaint. Anyway, when we got there, there was an enormous bus, with like infinity old people pouring out of it. Old people + entertainment is usually a warning sign…. But we got in line anyway, and went in. As soon as we entered, I looked over across the foyer-thing, full of old guys with canes, and saw a thing on the wall that showed the pictures of the cast. And right above that I saw the title of the play. There was the familiar CLUE logo from the game… but something else was underneath…. Which is when we realized we were not paying 200 dollars for a mere showing of Clue. Oh no. We were waiting to see CLUE.... the MUSICAL. Yes, you heard right: the MUSICAL.
Well, we took our seats, and waited for something to happen. Our waiter came over with drinks, and with a smile promptly dropped my dad’s glass on the table, showering us in water and glass shards. (That’s right, it was the WAITER with the GLASS at the TABLE) It was a great start. Then they started calling all the (old) people to get food at the buffet – and given that half the people there were unable to walk well (including my dad), it took forever. We went right after the people from that huge bus – "Triple AAA from Cleveland, come and get it! Triple A from Cleveland, its you turn…." After a delicious dinner swamped in gravy and sauerkraut (it was a DUTCH buffet, of course), things began to settle down and they started introducing the show.
But not before they decided to announce everyone’s birthday. The 20 old people turning from old to mega-old stood up as they were recognized by the announcer. They would’ve missed me, except my family’s got my back. "It’s Chris’s birthday! Hey, he’s turning 18!!!" Yup, even the AAA from Cleveland could hear I was 18. Sweet. Lazy Susan doesn’t just wish you a happy birthday. Oh no, they SING too! A little door opened, and the "Lazy Susan BIRTHDAY CHOIR" came out and began to sing a frightening song about birthdays with wonderful hand motions and dance moves… Just when I thought that was over, then they filed out again, under the name of The Lazy Susan ANNIVERSARY CHOIR! Which was even BETTER! At least, all the old people were quite tickled… we were laughing our heads off.
And finally, the show started. We all got out our Clue sheets that were on our menus, and got ready. Mr. Boddy busted through a set of double doors on the little stage, and with some thunder and lightning, began to bellow a "tune" about himself. For the next forever, the characters came out and introduced themselves through song. It wasn’t like the movie at all – a whole new "plot". It was full of "great" music - such as "Knife, Candlestick, Revolver, Rope!" or "Every-daaaayy De-vi-ces! Can kill a man or dice him!"… or even Mrs. White swinging her arms up and down singing in a horrible British accent (think "My Fair Lady" before she met Dr. Higgins….) singing "Life is a bowl o’ pits!" while brandishing a butcher’s knife. Holy cow, it was the lamest 2 hours of my life, yet it was great in a lame and random sort of way. (you know, like "Beached Whales" can be). High quality drama, for sure. When they attempted harmonies – well, they shouldn’t have… I read the actors’ bios in the program, and one of the most dignified previous acting experiences was Miss Scarlet’s: she was in a Sugar Supplement commercial and starred in the "English as a Second Language" video series. Mr. Boddy had previously been in 27 performances at the Lazy Susan…. Poor guy. It was definitely an experience. It was enhanced by the AAA from Cleveland people getting drunk and laughing hysterically at everything the suspects said, and getting all into guessing the murderer… it was funny, trust me.
And that my friends, is CLUE the MUSICAL. One of the finest theatrical performances I’ve ever seen. Be on the lookout for when it come to YOUR hometown…
It sounded quaint. Anyway, when we got there, there was an enormous bus, with like infinity old people pouring out of it. Old people + entertainment is usually a warning sign…. But we got in line anyway, and went in. As soon as we entered, I looked over across the foyer-thing, full of old guys with canes, and saw a thing on the wall that showed the pictures of the cast. And right above that I saw the title of the play. There was the familiar CLUE logo from the game… but something else was underneath…. Which is when we realized we were not paying 200 dollars for a mere showing of Clue. Oh no. We were waiting to see CLUE.... the MUSICAL. Yes, you heard right: the MUSICAL.
Well, we took our seats, and waited for something to happen. Our waiter came over with drinks, and with a smile promptly dropped my dad’s glass on the table, showering us in water and glass shards. (That’s right, it was the WAITER with the GLASS at the TABLE) It was a great start. Then they started calling all the (old) people to get food at the buffet – and given that half the people there were unable to walk well (including my dad), it took forever. We went right after the people from that huge bus – "Triple AAA from Cleveland, come and get it! Triple A from Cleveland, its you turn…." After a delicious dinner swamped in gravy and sauerkraut (it was a DUTCH buffet, of course), things began to settle down and they started introducing the show.
But not before they decided to announce everyone’s birthday. The 20 old people turning from old to mega-old stood up as they were recognized by the announcer. They would’ve missed me, except my family’s got my back. "It’s Chris’s birthday! Hey, he’s turning 18!!!" Yup, even the AAA from Cleveland could hear I was 18. Sweet. Lazy Susan doesn’t just wish you a happy birthday. Oh no, they SING too! A little door opened, and the "Lazy Susan BIRTHDAY CHOIR" came out and began to sing a frightening song about birthdays with wonderful hand motions and dance moves… Just when I thought that was over, then they filed out again, under the name of The Lazy Susan ANNIVERSARY CHOIR! Which was even BETTER! At least, all the old people were quite tickled… we were laughing our heads off.
And finally, the show started. We all got out our Clue sheets that were on our menus, and got ready. Mr. Boddy busted through a set of double doors on the little stage, and with some thunder and lightning, began to bellow a "tune" about himself. For the next forever, the characters came out and introduced themselves through song. It wasn’t like the movie at all – a whole new "plot". It was full of "great" music - such as "Knife, Candlestick, Revolver, Rope!" or "Every-daaaayy De-vi-ces! Can kill a man or dice him!"… or even Mrs. White swinging her arms up and down singing in a horrible British accent (think "My Fair Lady" before she met Dr. Higgins….) singing "Life is a bowl o’ pits!" while brandishing a butcher’s knife. Holy cow, it was the lamest 2 hours of my life, yet it was great in a lame and random sort of way. (you know, like "Beached Whales" can be). High quality drama, for sure. When they attempted harmonies – well, they shouldn’t have… I read the actors’ bios in the program, and one of the most dignified previous acting experiences was Miss Scarlet’s: she was in a Sugar Supplement commercial and starred in the "English as a Second Language" video series. Mr. Boddy had previously been in 27 performances at the Lazy Susan…. Poor guy. It was definitely an experience. It was enhanced by the AAA from Cleveland people getting drunk and laughing hysterically at everything the suspects said, and getting all into guessing the murderer… it was funny, trust me.
And that my friends, is CLUE the MUSICAL. One of the finest theatrical performances I’ve ever seen. Be on the lookout for when it come to YOUR hometown…
4 comments:
Okay, this is so great. My FAVORITE is thinking about the Thelins expressions and reactions during this whole experience. I would have loved to be there! Sounds like an "awesome" birthday to me!
Steven and I were looking up clue the musical online and they say that Mrs. White is traditionally played by a male?!? Was this true for you guys? So funny...
Puh-lease let this come to Los Angeles! Then again, it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without someone for the Lazy Susan Birthday Choir to harrass.
The coolest thing, in my opinion, is that the Clue sheets were your menus. I'd pay $200 for that kind of creativity. When my dad plays the game, he pencils in extra matrices to glean every speck of information from each turn. Maybe he can go along with you next time.
Happy Birthday, Chris! Glad it was so memorable!
haha, that is hysterical...and classis Thelin of course. I love that they weren't actually PLANNING on going to a clue musical. The old people spiced up the experience as well. I was so scared of Clue when I was little...I bet the musical would've even scared me more!
ANY event with the Thelins is fun. You're our favorite choice of company no matter what the occasion.
Love those lyrics!
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